Find Time For Yourself

I’ve been experiencing something many other people are, as well. Constantly increasing stress in almost all aspects of life are making it hard to relax, or feel hopeful. For me, in addition to that, it’s tough to get to the right headspace to write romance stories. The world providing inspiration for horror and the macabre, maybe – but those aren’t genres I write.

If you’ve been with me since the days of my From In Here blog, you know that I’ve dealt with a lot of major tragedies and obstacles in my life. If you’ll indulge me, I’d like to share with you some ways I’ve managed to cope – ways I’m utilizing again.

1. I focus on getting through an hour at a time, or as little as 15 minutes at a time when it helps; sometimes the prospect of facing an entire day at a time feels impossible. It’s a technique that worked for me when dealing with grief, or other tragic situations, but it’s also useful for dealing with other stress.
2. I like to stay educated and well-informed about the world, but there are some days when I limit my news intake to headlines or first paragraphs of top stories. Why? Because the sheer quantity of bad news can be overwhelming.
3. I’m not interested in quantifying suffering, or telling you who or what to care most about. I would like to remind you, though, that you can’t help anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. Like they tell you when you’re on an airplane; when you’re in an emergency situation, put on your own oxygen mask before you try to help another passenger.

So find time to do something, anything, that brings you even a moment of happiness, or peace, or soothes you. Read (or write) a book, play or listen to music, sing a song, say a prayer. Exercise, stretch, meditate, dance – it doesn’t matter how you think it looks, what matters how it makes you feel. Cook something, bake something, explore something new and different. You don’t need to spend money; there are lots of options for pretty much everything available online or for little or no cost.

We have to replenish ourselves if we want to be good to others, be good for others, and not be crushed under the weight of the burdens we carry. We don’t have to make a big fuss about doing so, either, but we have to make it a priority. It’s not selfish to do what you must to carve out time for self- care. It’s a matter of survival.

These are difficult days for many people. Whatever the reason, if you are feeling that way, remember that you’re not alone and embrace the good things you can do to brighten yours.

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Note: I’m not a mental health professional. If you feel like you’re drowning in stress and anxiety, I strongly encourage you to talk to a professional. Here’s a resource that might be of help: The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline offers 24/7 confidential support. You can call, text, or chat with trained counselors at 988lifeline.org.